28 Mar
Bible Rewrite Includes Binge-Drinking Goliath And Sex-Obsessed Adam
Goliath was a celebrity binge drinker, and Adam was obsessed with Eve’s naked body — according to a retelling of traditional Bible stories by an Anglican vicar.1
The Must Know Stories, written by the Rev Robert Harrison, feature a reworking of the top ten Bible stories, which were chosen in a poll by the Christian charity Scripture Union.
In the book, the tale of David and Goliath is retold from the perspective of the giant, portrayed as a “depressed alcoholic” who is hung over on the day of his fateful encounter with David.
The story of the Garden of Eden is retold from the point of view of Adam, who revels in Eve’s “beautiful body” and in the nativity tale, Jesus is born in an overcrowded house instead of a stable, amid family conflict as Joseph’s aunt deals with the fact that he and Mary are not married.
Mr Harrison said his intention was to make the stories more accessible, rather than to promote Christianity.
Um, yes, that’s right — your job, Mr Harrison, as an ordained minister is to make stories “more accessible” by corrupting them rather than presenting them as they are from the Bible, the Word of God!
Pray tell, how does corrupting Scripture make them more accessible?
And, oh, by the way, they aren’t stories, they are true accounts! I thought you might benefit from that little bit of insight.
People like you make me spend money buying barf bags.
HT: Christian Research Net.
1 Clout, Laura. “Bible Rewrite Includes Binge-Drinking Goliath and Sex-Obsessed Adam.” Telegraph 28 Mar. 2008. <http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/26/nbible126.xml>.
Posted by Casey on 28.03.08 at 5:20
What a moron. Would anybody consider doing the same for any other historical writings? Would you write a story about Napoleon as a drug addict who went to battle high? Would that make his “story” more accessible to this generation? What on earth is this guy thinking? Obviously he doesn’t believe the Bible is the word of God, because he thinks he can do a better job with the contents.
Posted by Isaiah on 28.03.08 at 5:20
Unfortunately we are living in the days when even so-called ordained ministers with PhDs from seminaries don’t even trust the Bible themselves, much alone teach it properly.
I was listening to this radio show “Way of the Master” the other day and they interviewed a few seminary students asking them what the Gospel is. Man, you’d shiver when you hear what some of them said!
Posted by Carol on 28.03.08 at 5:20
He says: “But because we’re so uneasy about things religious, these stories are slipping silently out of our consciousness.
So he’s going to alter the “stories”, add and subtract, and violate what God says about doing this, give a false picture of God, people and events, because people are ‘uneasy about religious things?” This guy is playing with fire! It’s obvious he hates God.
Amen to what you said Casey!
Posted by babs (beetle) on 28.03.08 at 5:20
I am lost for words! If I despair at the things that, so called, men of God are doing and saying, what must God be feeling?
We seem to be a society of people who feel they must apologize for who they are and what they believe in now days. Christians must try to fit into the world, rather than try to bring people into God’s kingdom. I truly despair!
Aye, Babs! Let me know if you need them barf bags too. I’ve got extras.
Posted by Chris Jones on 28.03.08 at 5:20
Great story man! Your blog is always an intresing to read!
Love the new look even know I miss the old one!
Thank you for the kind words of encouragement, Chris! Aww… what’s wrong with this theme? I made it myself, heh!