Joie de Vivre A Wretched Man’s Quest To Follow Jesus Christ

Heard this just this morning on Way of the Master Radio.

Todd Friel (TF): “The pope (John Paul II) might be beatified and canonized and become a saint. Made me think of a Bible verse. Dave is in Texas, on KDKR. Dave? Can you name that verse, sir?”

Dave: “I’m thinking it’s John 11:35.”

TF: “Which is?”

Dave: “Jesus wept.”

TF: *Uncontrollable laughter* “Well, Dave, perhaps a more appropriate verse than mine, but no!”

I’m sorry but I suspect that I, too, have a weird sense of humor, and I am laughing a little too hard now to write more…

Since my wife’s testimony was posted, I’ve met a few well-meaning people who have encouraged me to take a good, hard look again at how my opposition to the Mother was in error.

And I must say that, after much consideration and study, I agree with them.

Hence, it is our wish to now state that we’ll be returning to the faith of the Apostles and the great Church fathers, and follow the Roman pontiff in his guidance for our salvation.

For those who are still erroneously believing that the Roman Catholic is not the true Church, I’d strongly encourage you to do some serious studying for yourselves the history of the Church and our faith — not only from the Bible but from traditions of men passed down through generations that must be taken into consideration as they are on par with Scripture.

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I’m back with another installment where I share with you my favorite blog posts in the past week:

Have You Been To The Church Of “O”?

Are you a Christian woman or man who is intently following Oprah Winfrey’s series on The New Earth or even A Course in Miracles? Well, stop!

You’re listening to a woman who “took God out of the box” and thinks that God is “jealous of me” in her own words! Instead of finding out for herself what that word ‘jealous’ means, she goes on a search for something “more than doctrine” then lands herself right smack into the occult teachings of people like Marianne Williamson and Eckhart Tolle.

She’s just full of herself, really. As my wife pointed out, if she could interpret “jealous God” as “God is jealous of me”, we all know just who she is centered on! And now, she’s misleading millions down a slippery slope that ends in a plunge into the bottomless pit called HELL.

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No gimmicks (though some props like gold dust might be useful)!

If you have some knowledge of theology (even if it’s bad), have read the Bible at least once from cover to cover or even just some choice verses (it doesn’t matter, really), you are in place to have all that you covet beyond your wildest dreams without having to spend a single dime of your own!

Introducing…

Pulpit Pimping For Dummies

Take your ministry to the next level. Walk in divine prosperity. Get the breakthrough you keep promising the sheeple. Drive the best cars, live in the biggest house, fly the best planes and patronize the best restaurants.

The Dummies guide tells you how to convince people to give you more money than they can afford to give you. But not only that, it teaches you how to make those people think you are doing them a favor by taking the money. We give you the secrets for convincing people to pay you their tithes BEFORE they pay their rent or electric bill. Do you want to make people financially dependent on you? We’ll tell you how.

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Sorry, but this is too humorously true to pass up not posting.

20. You only curse around fundamentalists.

19. You leave your church because the sermon was not obscure enough.

18. You refer to your local assembly as “church,” “synagogue,” or “mosque” depending on who you are talking to.

17. Your blog is a rant about how everyone else rants too much.

16. You brag that you have never been pinned down theologically on any issue.

15. The only thing you are sure of is that others cannot be sure of anything.

14. You bring your own wine to communion.

13. You are offended when someone says they are going to “Preach the Gospel” or “Teach the truth” believing they should just “Tell a story.”

12. Instead of a tract, you carry a can of Play-doh in your back pocket.

11. Your web site links to Green Peace and the Democratic National Convention just because conservatives are against it.

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Who would have thought that the joke that my wife always loves to use on me when I’d inevitably get lost while driving would have made it as a comic?

Yes, she’d always tell me that the reason why Moses was in the 40 years in the desert with the Israelites was because he, being a man, would not stop to ask for directions.

I don’t think I’m alone in this, am I? Not asking for directions is a manly trait that runs across all cultures, I say!

And I’m not about to become one of those sissy men culled into stopping the car and asking for directions just because my wife says so. Who cares if we are lost and petrol isn’t cheap anymore? We’ll get you there in time even though it does look like we’re horribly lost now.

Have a good laugh for the weekend, and Shabbat Shalom!

Footnote to the husbands out there: Heeding my tongue-in-cheek advice can land you in rather hot soup. Self-preservation behavior, including stopping the car to ask for directions, is highly recommended.

HT: Way of the Master Radio.

This is too funny not to post and share.

You can click on the picture to view a larger and clearer version.

H/T: The Contemporary Calvinist.